When and How to Say No

Because sometimes ‘no’ can be a positive thing

If you’ve recently (or ever) said yes to too much and found yourself in a downward spiral of exhaustion, burnout and ‘why the hell did I say yes to everything?’ grab a seat, because this one’s for you.

Let’s face it, some of us are better than others at saying no, but for a lot of us, we have this constant need to people-please and find ourselves saying yes to things we can’t or don’t want to do—just so we can avoid the crippling guilt that comes with maybe disappointing someone about something that they really aren’t bothered about at all.

Meanwhile, you’re lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking of ways you can either avoid them for the rest of eternity or maybe arrange a fruit basket as an apology (again, for something that you probably don’t need to apologise for). Aaaand exhale.

Sound familiar? If it does, read on for our top tips on when and how to say no…

Say ‘No’ When You Can’t Deliver

This all starts with being really, truly honest with yourself and asking ‘how much time do I actually have and how well am I using it?’.

If this question is hard to answer because you take each hour as it comes, our best advice would be to get organised (and no, we’re not just saying that because we’re a bunch of PAs).

Sign yourself up for Google Calendar (or whatever takes your fancy) to note down everything you need to do over the next month, or week, or however long you want to plan ahead. Once you see it all there, you might realise how much of your time has already been reserved.

And hey, if the idea of organising your time on this level makes you want to crawl into a cave and stay there, you could always bring in an on-demand executive assistant or flexible admin support to do it for you—no need to hire, no long-term commitment, just pay-as-you-go EA support when you need it.

It happens all the time – you say yes to a project, thinking you have all the time in the world, but instead, find yourself panic-stricken the day before, typing at the speed of light on a potent blend of caffeine and whatever’s in the cupboard to fling on some toast.

If you have your calendar all set out and you’re trying to squeeze in some extra work, we’d recommend leaving yourself some wriggle room of a day or two between deadlines.

So, if your inbox is bombarded with people dying to work with you (not a bad thing, is it?) and you don’t have the time and resource to deliver, the first port of call is to set expectations.

For example, respond back to an enquiry with “let me check timings and see if I have the resource” – review, see if it’s actually possible and then get back to them with a polite ‘I’ve just checked, and I don’t have the resource this week – I’m available from x if you’d still like me to work on this’.

It’s better to do this than say ‘yes’ straight away and know it’s not going to happen (or it will, but you just have to sacrifice eating, sleeping and peeing for the next 3 weeks).

Say ‘No’ When it Doesn’t Tick Your Boxes

Ooh this is a tough one, but probably one we’ve all faced at one point or another.

To do this, you first need to figure out what those boxes are as some sort of criteria to measure against: Money? Opportunity? Networking? Charity work that makes your soul happy?

Being kind to others and helping them along the way is important, but it’s also important to know when to draw the line—especially if you’re already stretched and could benefit from outsourcing admin or low-value tasks to create space.

Before you say ‘no’, question how close the opportunity is to ticking those boxes. Make sure to ask questions and be crystal clear on what would need to change in order for you to say yes.

If it’s waaayy off anything you’d want to do, the best bet is to be super transparent and say ‘thank you, but this isn’t for me’. Or, if the idea of being so to-the-point makes your skin crawl, you could always say that you don’t have the time (see point one).

Say ‘No’ When You Know it’s Not the Right Project For You

Just because a project isn’t right for you, doesn’t mean that you can’t help in some way.

One of the best things about having a network of people you trust is that you can all pass opportunities onto each other.

There’s a famous quote by Richard Branson that says “If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later!” which is all fine and well on a LinkedIn post, but when it actually comes into play, can create a lot of problems.

You know an opportunity isn’t right for you when it doesn’t excite you or when it would probably take more time to learn how to do the task than actually doing it.

In this case, let them know that this project isn’t for you and most importantly, why. From there, send over a list of your recommendations—you’ll make their life easier and build a great relationship.

And if your hesitation is more about capacity than capability, it might be a sign you need extra support for busy professionals—whether that’s ad hoc business support in the UK or a dedicated virtual assistant to help you scale without burning out.

Say ‘No’ When You’re Exhausted

Repeat after me – just because there are some empty slots in your calendar, it does not mean that you have to fill them up with work.

Rest is just as important, if not more important than working.

If you’re feeling tired, irritable and often find yourself in a dense cloud of brain fog, then you should probably take things down a little and give yourself more time—or at least outsource tasks to free up your time (we can help you there).

This is exactly where flexible, no contract virtual assistant support comes into its own. You don’t need to hire or commit—you can just plug in support when things feel like too much.

So, how do you say ‘no’ when you know you have time, but really, your body is demanding that you take 40 (thousand) winks?

Well, it depends on the relationship. If you know them well, be honest. If not, you can always say you don’t have the capacity to deliver right now.

The thing is—you’re technically not lying. Your time might not be booked for other work, but it’s fully booked for rest.

Say ‘No’ When You’re Not Feeling Great

We’re willing to bet our last teabag in the office that most of us have been at work with a cold—but a line needs to be drawn somewhere.

If that cold has gone beyond the ‘slight sniffle’ stage or you need to quickly end a call to go and be sick, you probably shouldn’t be working that day.

Especially if you run your own business or work remotely, the thought of taking time off can feel impossible—but it’s needed.

If you can’t deliver on something, just send an email or call to say you’re not well. If the deadline’s urgent, outsource the work if you can—this is where project-based EA support or short-term business support can step in and keep things moving.

Mental health is just as important.

In recent years, the conversation has opened up, but many people still don’t feel comfortable talking about it at work.

If you feel able to be transparent, a great client or boss will respond with support. If not, you’re under no obligation to explain—saying you don’t have the resource or capacity is enough.

Whether it’s physical or mental, this is where having access to reliable admin support services or flexible executive assistant support can make a real difference—taking pressure off when you need it most.

Final Thoughts

With our experience as PAs, we communicate with people every single day (it’s the biggest part of our job).

What we’ve learned is that we’re all human beings and no matter your reason, people will be a lot more understanding than you think.

The key is communication—letting someone know that you can’t do something is better than avoiding it, or saying yes and taking on too much.

At the end of the day, it’s your workload and your wellbeing.

And if you’re constantly finding yourself overwhelmed, it might not be a “you” problem—it might just be that you need better support.

Ready to stop saying yes to everything?

If you need help with business admin in the UK, personal and business assistant support, or simply want to outsource admin without hiring, our on-demand executive assistants are here to help.

Flexible, scalable, and designed around you—so you can protect your time, your energy, and your sanity.